shipsnotdrugs:

so my friend and i were home alone and naturally we ordered a pizza

we had a simple request

image

so when the doorbell rang we were super excited but our delivery person was this really confused old guy

he was like, “i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the heck a TARDIS is, so i drew the closest thing i could think of”

image

he drew us a tortoise

god bless this man

i gave him a twenty and told him to keep the change

sh0rtney:

lickgold:

Bangs are back and freckles on my nose are showing

Fuckin perfect

sh0rtney:

lickgold:

Bangs are back and freckles on my nose are showing

Fuckin perfect

contraception:

when ur best friend is sad

image

moosezekiel:

thwhitewolff:

WAY TO GO ALLSTATE

THATS ALLSTATE’S STAND
ARE YOU IN GOOD HANDS?

moosezekiel:

thwhitewolff:

WAY TO GO ALLSTATE

THATS ALLSTATE’S STAND

ARE YOU IN GOOD HANDS?

trillow:

this is an AWFUL sex position. why did i let you talk me into this. where are my arms

lubricates:

at least 2014 didnt start out with someone sucking on a tampon

officialfrenchtoast:

you had me at 

image

you lost me at 

image